I am doing a lot of thinking about process and the media.  It is my hope to have some media coverage as we develop the work.  Although it is traditional to wait until there is a ‘final product’, I want the evolution of this work to provide a foundation for discourse and interaction. -- Andrea

So much gratitude, well balanced with so much frustration.  The work itself, moves well and unencumbered.  The impediments spring from logistical malfunctions…sometimes agreements misunderstood, sometimes the gap between what one says they will do and what actually happens.  Still, I feel a flooding back-log of ‘thank you (s)’ that must be stated. Early on, I had the privilege of a late evening sit-for-tea-and-talk-as-fast-as-you-can-because-the-train-will-stop-running-soon kind of visit with a man I hoped would write a couple drafts of two songs for Act 5.  I was hoping to find someone who might have a shared sense of twisted humor that we could infuse with rhyme.  Blake Newman (musical director, score, double bass) introduced me to J’me. J’me is a poet, a song writer, a musician and an extremely talented, compassionate man.  J’me is the person who asked me one of the many critical and vital questions that have informed this production.  In pushing me to explore and articulate why the characters are race specific, J’me catalyzed difficult and important motion in the piece. Let me be a bit more graphic here.  J’me said “…You know you’re going to get crucified for this…” and I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about.  My face began to flush because I was embarrassed about ‘not knowing’ and J’me went on “Why can’t you just make all the people the same color?”  (picture me gasping, holding onto my thighs under the table, still attempting to not appear stupid)  “You mean like in Blue Man Group?”  J’me said “Why does the rapist have to be black?”  By this time I am oozing brilliance, so I say “Whaaa?”  “You will be accused of propagating racism.”  And I catapult into both the truth of my work and a major research dive into the internet and literary world of race. I cannot write the story as other than it was.  Act 4, Scene 1, taken out of context could perhaps be seen to propagate something but I hope not.  We’ll know a lot more after the performances and audience talk-backs.  This story happened in 1973 -74 in Boston.  My research now, shows me that we have come an absolute ZERO distance in terms of progress or growth or improvement from my perspective.  The racism in Boston seethes.  Repugnance to this is one of the things that fed the convictions of the main character.  It still does.  Abhorrent is still what it is, even when it is disguised by fancy words and body paint.  I know that change can’t really happen until people are able to look at the truth of their fears and prejudice, regardless of their skin color. -- Andrea

Into March 2007: It is an intoxicating and humbling experience working with all of these people.  There are so many people to thank.  Many people who have shown their support through these preparation years.  I am aware that I hold each and every one of you in my heart.  It is difficult however, to offer tribute and gratitude to everyone all at once.  It seems to come in bits so I will include people as I am able. My daughter, Anya Bredbeck, is the commissioned artist who did the brilliant and moving work that is the ‘Visual Narrative’.  She has been my editor, my other set of eyes.  She is a collaborator in the truest sense of the word.  A Woman who can hold the tremendously painful and beautiful ambiguities of living and loving, Anya is a primary motivation for all of my work. Lynn Scott is a writer, a mentor, a treasured friend and one of my earliest readers.  Currently living and working in the San Francisco area, she has been my ‘almost mother’ for much of my life.  Lynn has given me pieces of my history, grace and humor.  Thankfully, she has also offered strict and exacting critique. -- Andrea

Early March 2007: Part of my commitment, the kind I make to myself, the sort that perches deeply inside, near my integrity, is a promise to attempt to harvest something, out of every moment I am privileged enough to live. Thus this smattering of thoughts.  This is my best effort to craft something wonderful out of a response I had to a disturbing performance I saw last week.  The crop if you will, the bounty after the storm, is this then:  A renewed invigoration about what ‘As If We Live To Bear No Scars’ so clearly is NOT. And therefore, and much more importantly, a renewed invigoration about what ‘As If We Live To Bear No Scars’ so clearly IS. It is my hope and my intention to collaborate with our Musical Director, our Theatrical Director, and our Choreographic Director to present a piece to our audience that allows them to both journey to the painful truths of this particular story, and simultaneously to experience a constancy of both beauty and possibility.  Without the ability to notice a random fragment of light as it falls on an arm, regardless of the endeavor engaging the limb, without the senses to feel a shift in external air temperature, at exactly the moment that an internal psychological shift breathes cold fear into a heart, without our capacity to experience a true symbiosis—the immensity of our capacity for perception—we could, perhaps, forget that our humanity is a gift. Our main character, the ‘Girl’, holds to her commitment to ‘not be a hater’.  She resides in a place where she relishes beauty.  She finds a societal offering of racism repugnant.  She laments the possibility of ‘scars’ that could derail her ability to love.  And she ultimately offers the audience a true life story that speaks to the importance of yearning and the conscious crafting of a voice that sings the song of  ‘after’. -- Andrea

As If We Live To Bear No Scars, Limited Partnership, will produce the performance from which the DVD will be made.  Upon completion, it is our intention to use the ‘Visual Narrative’ and the DVD as the marketing package to solicit the remaining investors and bring the full production of ‘As If We Live To Bear No Scars’ to the stage.  I am now seeking a limited number of financial partners to help underwrite the full production costs on a profit-sharing basis.  If you are interested in learning more and/or participating in this project, please contact me directly. I can be reached at andrea@andreabredbeck.com. -- Andrea

Working with a life-long dear friend, R. Scott Ervin, a corporate lawyer with more than twenty years of experience, to form ‘As If We Live To Bear No Scars, Limited Partnership’, has been an extraordinary experience.  The structure is complete.  With his generous assistance, an initial business plan has been developed, based on an analysis of similar contemporary productions. Phase one of production was the script.  It is complete.  Phase two is the 'marketing package' and has two components.  The first is a 'Visual Narrative', an exquisite book which includes a one page synopsis of the work, 12 incredible water color and text images painted by commissioned artist Anya Bredbeck -- these offer 'another way' to journey through the script -- and the last monologue from the performance.  It is complete and has garnered amazing response.  The second half of Phase two is to be a DVD documentation of the collaborative process as it evolves and a screening of Act 4, Scene 1 and the final monologue of the work. -- Andrea

Mid February 2007:

The script is one I am really proud of.  As I wrote in the synopsis, this is the story of a girl who believes her personal convictions are stronger than the most violent rape.  The manuscript for the work has received positive critical reviews from prominent members of the theatre community.  In response, I, as the author, producer, and artistic director, have assembled a core group of musicians, choreographers, actors and set designers.  We are committed to bringing this work to the stage in Boston, as a commercial performance piece. As If We Live To Bear No Scars shows us how one woman’s personal convictions give her the strength to survive and overcome the trauma resulting from violent rape.  Through dance, music, film, digital imagery, sculpture, poetry and dialogue this multi-media theatrical performance tells the story of a beautiful life interrupted by trauma.  The common thread of the main character’s voice running throughout the work weaves together themes of racism, family and the triumph of human spirit to bring a message of hope for what comes ‘after‘ when the ‘before’ has been tragic. -- Andrea

Early February: ‘As If We Live To Bear No Scars’ has had many incarnations as a body of work.  It originated over 15 years ago when I was sculpting maquettes (miniatures), which I later came to realize are some of the sets for the production.  The writing has been in progress for many years although it became solely focused on these particular stories about three years ago.  The book began as an 850-page prose poem.  It evolved then to a more traditional literary form.  Almost a year ago, I took the entire body of work, deconstructed it, and reconstructed it as a theatre piece.   'As If We Live To Bear No Scars' is a long journey. -- Andrea

Will a topic like rape be too "scary" for theater goers? To me, as someone coming to the work with fresh eyes,  "As If We Live To Bear No Scars" is about much more than one person's experience with violence.  Because of the way it blends poetry, dance, music, art and theater, it is a highly evocative piece that reminds us of our own life-transforming experiences. There is so much emotional violence that all of us experience, and we are told to internalize it and never speak about it.  Andrea Bredbeck challenges us to find our voices and tell our stories. It's a piece that in many ways is about all of our stories. -- Catherine

On April 14, 2007, I spent an unexpected afternoon with artist Andrea Bredbeck and a dozen others at her home in Jamaica Plain -- that Boston neighborhood known or its towering Victorian homes. I didn't know Andrea, but the neighborhood was familiar.  I had lived a few blocks from her house in the late 1980’s, and hadn’t ventured there in ten years. Recollections of raising my baby there, walks to Jamaica Pond.... Oddly, everything about my brief experience with Andrea and her work has been highly evocative, eliciting memory and long-buried experience.  We had gathered to talk about a new theatrical performance that would be unlike most works of art – which are unveiled upon completion to an audience. Instead, this would be one that would engage the audience while the work was in progress. I was reminded of the famous line from William Butler Yeats – “How can we know the dancer from the dance?” Today it seemed we were asking an even harder question: “How – or even better, why – do we separate creator from beholder?” Here was a remarkable opportunity to engage with a talented cast of poets, dancers, musicians, actors and artists to create an unusual work of art based on the ugliest of subjects - a violent rape.  And yet, all of us in that room were drawn to the work, I think, because of its remarkable beauty, and because of the energy and passion of the work's creator, Andrea Bredbeck.  Andre proves, through her work and through her life, that we can harvest a thing of beauty from any experience.  -- Catherine